[Childfree] FW: Colorado Barbies

[Schwols, Keith C]

A little Friday humor for the group.

]<eith


If a cute saying or a pretty poster is all it takes to motivate you, you
probably have a very easy job.  The kind that robots will be doing soon.


>-----Original Message-----
>From: Ann M. Sellers [mailto:asellers at packagingcorp.com]
>Sent: Friday, April 21, 2006 7:37 AM
>To: Schwols, Keith C; bob at proulx.com; susan_wolber at agilent.com
>Subject: Colorado Barbies
>
>
>This totally cracked me up...Boulder and Greeley are the best ones.
>
>Ann
>
>
>Subject: COLORADO BARBIES
>
>ColoradoBarbies....
>Mattel recently announced the release of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls
for
>the Colorado Market:
>
>Highlands Ranch Barbie
>This princess Barbie is only sold at Park Meadows Mall. She comes with
an
>assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign
dog
>named Honey and a cookie cutter house. Available with or without
>tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with
>"augmented" version.
>
>Englewood /Parker/Castle Rock Barbie
>This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar
Minivan
>and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time
>occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold
>separately.
>
>Colfax Barbie
>This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis
knife, a
>Chevy with dark tinted windows and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only
>available after dark and can only be paid for in cash.
>Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we
don't
>know what you are talking about.
>
>Cherry Creek Barbie
>This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer
H2.
>Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club
>membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private
School
>Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
>
>Commerce City Barbie
>This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too
>small, a NASCAR shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a
six
>pack of Coors light and a Hank Williams , Jr. CD set. She can spit
>over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she's drunk.
Purchuse
>her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker
>absolutely free.
>
>Aspen Barbie
>This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print ski
>outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the
lodge.
>Percocet prescription available.
>
>Thornton/Arvada Barbie
>This tobacco chewing, brassy haired Barbie has a pair of her own
>high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased
>Beer-Gutted Ken out of Commerce City Barbie's house. Her ensemble
includes
>low rise acid washed jeans, fake finger nails, and a see through halter
>top. Also available with a mobile home.
>
>Boulder Barbie
>This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair,
>archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white
socks.
>She prefers that you call her "Willow." She does not want or need a Ken
>doll, but you if purchase two Boulder Barbies and the optional Subaru
>wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.
>
>Denver/Aurora North Barbie
>This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional
accessories
>include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were
available,
>but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.
>
>Greeley Barbie
>This Spanish Speaking only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired
>temporary plates and three baby Barbies in the back seat, but no car
seats.
>The optional Ken doll comes with a Meat Packers uniform and is
>missing three fingers on his left hand. Green Cards are not available
for
>Barbie or Ken.
>
>Trinidad Barbie/Ken
>This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by
simply
>adding or subtracting the multiple "snap-on"parts